I've always kind of loved Che Guevera. I don't know a thing about him, but I love him nonetheless. He reminds me of one of my college roommates, Marge. Not that they look anything alike, but she loved him and was kind of a communist. So now I love him. I got to thinking about Che today because my brain was less than engaged in other pursuits. If I wanted to start a revolution, what kind of revolution would I start and how? "Well obviously, it'd have to be a political, take over the world kind of revolution" - was my first thought. I mean, let's be real, I have a lot of potential and I'm not going to waste it on silly little revolutions like recycling or saving the whales. Go big or go home, that's my motto. Then I got to thinking that I should probably have a starter revolution so that when I go for the big revolution, taking over the world, I'll have some experience. So I've set my sights on Cuba. I have a plan. Now, I know in the past that us imperialist, capitalist pig Americans have tried to make Cuba our little playground and have failed. However, I think that I will succeed because I have something the CIA never did: simple dreams and Sony. My purpose behind igniting a revolution in Cuba is simply to get myself some beach front property and live out my days away from the cold dreariness of winter. I have no delusions of grandeur. Now to the details:
First, I'll ship in several thousand Sony Wiis, just enough to give the Cubanos a taste of life in the west. The demand for Wiis will rise, but that's when I'll cut off the supply and move to phase II of the plan: starting rumors that if not for the Castros (Fidel and the other guy - who incidentally will never make it as a dictator because no one can remember his name and if no one remembers your name, please tell me how your name will ever incite fear just by being spoken? Never gonna happen.) the whole island of Cuba would be rolling in Wiis. Then I'll sit back and let good old capitalism run its course. Before you know it, the Cubans will have a "democratically elected" leader (that I'll hand pick from the Marriott Corporation who will then put up amazing resorts all around Cuba) and I'll be sitting pretty, basking in the glow of my first successful revolution and sipping fruity poolside.
A girl can dream, can't she? Stay tuned for my plans to end the Middle East conflict.
Brilliant plan. Except Nintendo makes the Wii, not Sony. Don't let this ruin your ploy for island domination though. There's still time to drop the Sony stock, cut ties with the Sony elite, and buy into Nintendo, all before Raul gets thrown out of power.
ReplyDeleteyou know, i had an anarchist friend in college who was always talking about the REVOLUTION. and for a while i just kind of thought it was a joke, but eventually i realized that she was dead serious, and when we had to co-present on a book about the kenyan independence movement, her focus was on how the terrorist cells were organized that and whether it was effective and how to replicate it in the u.s. and that she really, seriously wanted to overthrow the government.
ReplyDeleteit kind of weirded me out, and then we didn't hang out as much after that.
Um, McDonaldization of the world? I have some great blueprints for you.
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